27 December 2008

The Atlanta to Pittsburgh via St Louis Favor

A gentleman should always be willing to do favors for his friends, particularly when it is something they are not capable of doing for themselves. But what about when you're asked by a friend to do a favor for one of their friends who is perfectly capable of doing it themselves?

On the evening of the 23rd I received a frantic call from a friend who needed to ask a favor. He wanted me to invite someone to have Christmas dinner with me. If my wife and I were hosting Christmas dinner this would not have been a problem. However we were not. We were in fact traveling to my parents for the holiday, a few hours away. "Oh, well do you think you could secure an invitation for this person?" was the reply of my frantic friend.

For the record, it is in incredibly bad form to ask someone to ask their host for an extra invitation.

The situation was described to me in parts, which when added together will make no sense to anyone. Least of all me. To clear things up a little, and make for an easier read, I'll call my friend "Chris" and his friend "Lucy". Okay, on with the tale.

Chris had previously invited Lucy to join him for the holiday. Lucy is in the area on a business project for the year and is hundreds of miles away from her family. This sounds very sweet and I fully encourage the welcoming of people into ones homes for the holiday's.

Chris explained that over the prior weekend he injured himself, and that was why he was asking if I could take Lucy in for the holiday. Thinking that this must be a serious injury if he was trying to find someone else to look after Lucy I inquired as to the nature. "Oh it's nothing really, I'll be back at work tomorrow." I started to wonder why he could return to work, but not accept Lucy's company the following day.

It was then that Chris remembers that our friend Joe lives closer to Lucy, and it would be easier for Joe to take her in for the holiday. It would be easier for Joe, however he already has full house with children, their spouses, and grandchildren. I'll just throw this in as a piece of relevant information, Joe and I have only meet Lucy three times, during which she's barely spoken to us.

About fifteen minutes later I get a call from Chris again, Joe is going out of town for the holiday and won't be able to take Lucy in, would I mind trying to get her invited to my family's dinner. "I'll see what I can do." I hang up with Chris and call my mother, as I'm talking with her Chris called 10 times during my conversation, never leaving a message. On the 10th call I put my mother on hold, figuring there's some sort of emergency for Chris to be so relentless in his calls. No emergency, just another idea. I do manage to secure an invitation from my mother, for Lucy. God bless my mother, she has a very warm heart, I knew if I explained the situation properly she'd welcome Lucy with open arms. I call Chris back with the news and he informs me he'll try and reach Lucy and get back to me tomorrow.

The following day Chris calls, Lucy doesn't want to impose on my family so now Chris wants me to drive Lucy to his place on my way to my parents. Geography is a pain, especially when you know it and others don't. This plan would have made sense if Chris' was along the way, but it wasn't. Imagine going from Atlanta to Pittsburgh, but stopping in St. Louis first.
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That was what I was now facing. I asked Chris why Lucy just didn't drive herself out to his place, she had a new car, was college educated, not in poor health, and the weather was going to be clear.

Then Chris explained that she was hopeless with directions and that if I didn't drive her out to his place (his injury made it difficult for him to drive) she'd just spend the holiday by herself in her little apartment with no heat, probably crying all day.

This caused a whole host of questions on my part. Why was she in an apartment without heat? Why doesn't she do something about it, like call the landlord? Because she lacks communication skills. What?! She's in a management training program at her company, how can she lack communication skills? How can she not know how to read turn by turn directions from mapquest or google maps? From all outward appearances she's a competent person, why is she being presented as incompetent?

On the ride back she thanked me for the lift and explained that she'd have just spent the day watching TV in her apartment. At that I could no longer resist, "Really?! You have a car, no? You could have driven yourself anywhere." And with that Lucy didn't say a word for the rest of the trip.

What troubles me about the situation was that she didn't even try. From where she was to Chris' is three roads and four turns in 50 miles. It frankly isn't that complicated, but it is time consuming. It doubled my driving time each direction.

A coworker of mine recently moved to a new town and is learning where everything around her is. Her second night at her new place she got lost trying to get to the shopping center. She called her boyfriend in a panic because she was lost. Turned out she was only 200 yards from the shopping center, a fact that she laughs at today, but at least she tried it on her own.

My wife has a friend who has lived her entire life in a major city and does not have a car nor has she learned to drive a car. If we're going by her place and she needs a lift that's on our way, we're happy to oblige

There are a lot of things to take away from this little holiday tale. I'll let you pick what you should take away. I only ask that you provide a comment of what I should say to Chris. I'm torn in my own emotions since I agreed to the favor, and yet I'm very annoyed at Lucy for not even trying.

How would you have handled the situation?

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