Much has already been written about The Daily Show interview with Jim Cramer and Jon Stewart so I won't belabor the interview here. I will say however that given the nature of Jon's show and his passion for the topic at hand, he conducted himself in as gentlemanly a fashion as was possible, perhaps more so.
Props to Jon Stewart and The Daily Show.
16 March 2009
Gentleman of the Week
Watches
Perhaps it's a "guy" thing, but I really do enjoy watches, the intricacy of the movements the various designs possible. When I think about it, they are really one of the few items men can use to accessorize that don't all look like everyone else's. However I should probably clarify that, the possibility is there for them not to look like everyone else's. Certainly if you take a look at the wrists of most men in a major city they all seem to be wearing copies of each others.
At least I've noticed over the past few years a trend for men to wear large chunky metal banded sports watches with nearly everything. Now I have nothing against these sport watches, a number of them have caught me eye, the Omega Seamaster, Rolex Daytona, nearly anything by Tag Heuer. They are all attractive designs. They are designs that are best worn with casual attire.
For more formal attire (like your everyday suit for the office) I think that a subtle style would go over better. Something thin, perhaps a black leather band. The watch should complement the suit and the wearer, not be big and crass shouting "hey look at me!!" After all a Gentleman would never do such a thing himself and likewise shouldn't let his possessions do that for him.
This pairing of watch to clothing is a statement in and of itself about the wearer. What message is your watch, clothing, in general you're outward appearance, giving off? If you're trying to give off a impression of wealth remember that the truly wealth don't flaunt it. The have nice possessions yes, and you can tell by the cut of their clothing that it's better quality, but it's not shouting in your face.
27 December 2008
The Atlanta to Pittsburgh via St Louis Favor
A gentleman should always be willing to do favors for his friends, particularly when it is something they are not capable of doing for themselves. But what about when you're asked by a friend to do a favor for one of their friends who is perfectly capable of doing it themselves?
On the evening of the 23rd I received a frantic call from a friend who needed to ask a favor. He wanted me to invite someone to have Christmas dinner with me. If my wife and I were hosting Christmas dinner this would not have been a problem. However we were not. We were in fact traveling to my parents for the holiday, a few hours away. "Oh, well do you think you could secure an invitation for this person?" was the reply of my frantic friend.
For the record, it is in incredibly bad form to ask someone to ask their host for an extra invitation.
The situation was described to me in parts, which when added together will make no sense to anyone. Least of all me. To clear things up a little, and make for an easier read, I'll call my friend "Chris" and his friend "Lucy". Okay, on with the tale.
Chris had previously invited Lucy to join him for the holiday. Lucy is in the area on a business project for the year and is hundreds of miles away from her family. This sounds very sweet and I fully encourage the welcoming of people into ones homes for the holiday's.
Chris explained that over the prior weekend he injured himself, and that was why he was asking if I could take Lucy in for the holiday. Thinking that this must be a serious injury if he was trying to find someone else to look after Lucy I inquired as to the nature. "Oh it's nothing really, I'll be back at work tomorrow." I started to wonder why he could return to work, but not accept Lucy's company the following day.
It was then that Chris remembers that our friend Joe lives closer to Lucy, and it would be easier for Joe to take her in for the holiday. It would be easier for Joe, however he already has full house with children, their spouses, and grandchildren. I'll just throw this in as a piece of relevant information, Joe and I have only meet Lucy three times, during which she's barely spoken to us.
About fifteen minutes later I get a call from Chris again, Joe is going out of town for the holiday and won't be able to take Lucy in, would I mind trying to get her invited to my family's dinner. "I'll see what I can do." I hang up with Chris and call my mother, as I'm talking with her Chris called 10 times during my conversation, never leaving a message. On the 10th call I put my mother on hold, figuring there's some sort of emergency for Chris to be so relentless in his calls. No emergency, just another idea. I do manage to secure an invitation from my mother, for Lucy. God bless my mother, she has a very warm heart, I knew if I explained the situation properly she'd welcome Lucy with open arms. I call Chris back with the news and he informs me he'll try and reach Lucy and get back to me tomorrow.
The following day Chris calls, Lucy doesn't want to impose on my family so now Chris wants me to drive Lucy to his place on my way to my parents. Geography is a pain, especially when you know it and others don't. This plan would have made sense if Chris' was along the way, but it wasn't. Imagine going from Atlanta to Pittsburgh, but stopping in St. Louis first.
View Larger Map
That was what I was now facing. I asked Chris why Lucy just didn't drive herself out to his place, she had a new car, was college educated, not in poor health, and the weather was going to be clear.
Then Chris explained that she was hopeless with directions and that if I didn't drive her out to his place (his injury made it difficult for him to drive) she'd just spend the holiday by herself in her little apartment with no heat, probably crying all day.
This caused a whole host of questions on my part. Why was she in an apartment without heat? Why doesn't she do something about it, like call the landlord? Because she lacks communication skills. What?! She's in a management training program at her company, how can she lack communication skills? How can she not know how to read turn by turn directions from mapquest or google maps? From all outward appearances she's a competent person, why is she being presented as incompetent?
On the ride back she thanked me for the lift and explained that she'd have just spent the day watching TV in her apartment. At that I could no longer resist, "Really?! You have a car, no? You could have driven yourself anywhere." And with that Lucy didn't say a word for the rest of the trip.
What troubles me about the situation was that she didn't even try. From where she was to Chris' is three roads and four turns in 50 miles. It frankly isn't that complicated, but it is time consuming. It doubled my driving time each direction.
A coworker of mine recently moved to a new town and is learning where everything around her is. Her second night at her new place she got lost trying to get to the shopping center. She called her boyfriend in a panic because she was lost. Turned out she was only 200 yards from the shopping center, a fact that she laughs at today, but at least she tried it on her own.
My wife has a friend who has lived her entire life in a major city and does not have a car nor has she learned to drive a car. If we're going by her place and she needs a lift that's on our way, we're happy to oblige
There are a lot of things to take away from this little holiday tale. I'll let you pick what you should take away. I only ask that you provide a comment of what I should say to Chris. I'm torn in my own emotions since I agreed to the favor, and yet I'm very annoyed at Lucy for not even trying.
How would you have handled the situation?
24 December 2008
Media
My original thought was to post a list of the year's most ungentlemanly people... however that seems to fly in the face of what this blog is about. "Ahha!" I thought, "I'll make it a list of those who displayed the characteristics a gentleman should posses!" And then I realized that would be nearly impossible, since the media only reports the bad things people do. Rarely are the good deeds considered news-worthy.
23 December 2008
Spreading the Holiday Cheer
Happy Holiday's one and all.
I was going to write a little guide to holiday tipping, however I'm sure I would have missed some situation and that would have distressed someone. Instead I will offer this little bit for your consideration.
If you are about on a Holiday and require the services of wait staff, or others, be as kind as you can and tip more than you usually would. Remember that for various reasons they are working on a day that they, and you, would most likely rather be at home with family and friends. If you are fortunate enough to have the day off (even if it's not 'your' holiday), the least you can do is spread some of that seasonal cheer.
23 November 2008
How not to embarrass your children
While I do not have children at this time, I was none-the-less struck by the profound wisdom of a UK columnist last week with his guide on how not to embarrass one's children. If you click the title of this post you should be taken to the column.
What makes it even more interesting is that the behavior referred to not only occurs in the UK, but occurs here in the US as well. Perhaps lending credit to the statement that we are more alike than those in the UK would like to admit. Perish the thought!
Do have a read of the article, especially if you have children.
28 October 2008
Bigger Fish to Fry
A few weeks ago the chap from my local car dealer had come by the office to pick up my car for some non-routine service. As per the usual custom they had a driver bring a loaner vehicle for me while mine was being serviced.
Nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he arrived, I greeted him in my lobby as usual and proceeded to go about filling out the required paperwork for the transaction. Then he asked if I was still with the same insurer from last time. As I am, I indicated in the affirmative, slightly pleased that after 4 and a half years of this the dealer had improved their process and had my information on file. Then the drivers tone became most unpleasant and almost hostile, "I can't leave our car with you then. We have this memo and we can't let you drive our car if you have that insurance." Needless to say I was a bit dumbfounded, I'd never had a problem before and never heard of any change in policy. As I tried to comprehend what was going on and it's direct impact to me, and getting my car serviced, we came to the agreement that he would take my car back to the shop, along with the keys to his car.
This of course was perfectly acceptable to me. The dealer had only once not been able to finish up my requests on the same day, and I suspected they'd be able to this time as well. When I mentioned to the driver that all was fine and I'd probably have it back in the afternoon I was then hit with a barrage of comments about him not being a mechanic and not being able to guarantee anything. I should note here that I hadn't asked him to guarantee anything, nor make any predictions. Yet still he was quite hostile in his general demeanor.
Wanting to get back to my day, and my car on it's way to the "workshop", I reassured him I was okay with all of this and that I should walk him out to my car. As we were walking he relaxed a bit and said "I guess someone's gonna get chewed out for this huh?!" What struck me was both the question and the mild excitement in his tone. Was he used to delivering this news and having people fly off the handle at him? Did he think that was common practice by those who owned this marque?
I replied to his question with "No, I've got bigger things to worry about today. If I get the chance I'll call over and find out more about this, but I really do have more important things to be concerned with."
I mention this here and now, because we all have more important things to concern ourselves with than trivial little matters like this that apparently have sent some people off the deep end.
If you truly don't have bigger concerns, can I trade lives with you? I can't imagine a life where the only thing I could possible need to flip out over is that someone forgot to tell me about a policy that would in no way impact my day.
As you work towards becoming a gentle person yourself remember your manners and when people you encounter deliver bad news (save the truly horrible kind) remember that there are bigger things to be concerned with and don't flip out at them. Flipping out is not what a gentleman would do. If the situation is very troubling then you know in the future not to do business with that organization. If for some reason you must continue to do business with them, then you can only smile and not let it bother it you.
In case you were wondering, yes my car was returned within the day as I expected, and no I never did call anyone and "chew them out". When I spoke with the service adviser about the work that had been done I did ask about the policy and he offered to send along a letter outlining it. No fuss, no muss.
What if I had needed a car that day? I probably would have just rescheduled the service for another time. Would that be an inconvenience? Absolutely. Would it be worth getting all upset about? Probably not.
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